I Envy You
by Yamazakura
Summary: First moments of Envy's existing... [written long before Envy's true origin was enlightened]


****

This is my first fanfic ever... hope you'll like, but I warn you - do not expect much from me, I'm not an advance writer, though I would like to become one...

* * *

**I Envy You**

'_I envy you!' was said in a crying, pitiful tone._

'_You shouldn't' came a calm reply, 'because every moment you can become just like me'_

'_I know! And that's why I do. Because you can't.'_

__

Every moment I remember in my life, I envied. Envied blue sky, because it was serene. Envied animals and birds, because they were gracious. Envied people, because they were people. It started like a strike. A flash, a spark came suddenly, forcing me to open my eyes and leave peaceful Nothing, just to start my envious life.

The first thing I saw in that new sort of existing was blood. Thin, gorgeous lines of some picture drawn in blood were on the cold floor just in few inches away from my face. That made me to take an attempt to stand up – automatically, without a thought or intention. That attempt failed – and I fell to my knees coughing. Something made me cover my mouth with hand – a realization came, that this gesture should be done. Apparently, my fingers touched the skin and that was the first time in my life (let me call it with this term, 'existing' sounds too disrespectful to the creator, don't you think?) I paid attention to myself. It was a pity, that there was no mirror, so I couldn't have a look at my own face, but I was sure it's handsome. My body was slim, my skin was white and hair was black and long. On my left leg there was a tattoo – a wonderful, exiting symbol – a snake, biting its tale, two crossed triangles inside the circle of her and two wings around. That made me anxious. Ecstatic. Euphoric. Scared.

'_Oh, come on! Don't be so afraid! You're not some stupid human to be afraid of someone who's just like you, do you?' soft voce came again, trying to convince._

__

Shaking, with the world spinning around me, I made my first steps on that cold saint floor. Didn't I say? I was in some sort of a church – high ceiling, long and thin gothic windows, and several visages of unknown to me gods... the whole atmosphere there was saint, do not know how I knew it. But I did.

And then I felt that wonderful feeling of envy – first time in my life. It came suddenly and enjoyed itself in my organism, in my mind, in my soul (if I have one) so fearlessly, as if it had always been there. I envied the air. It was clean. And I wasn't. My naked body was covered with some disgusting colorless liquid and blood. That discovery made me turn around and have a look at the bloody picture on the floor – as I had guessed before, it was smashed by me, but I suppose I couldn't understand it even if it wasn't – huge amount of lines, connecting and crossing each other – something completely pointless and sensitive at the moment. I noticed it and forgot about it immediately, letting myself have a thought about it later – when I have time.

And a thought then came – unexpected, sudden, and strange: 'Who am I?'

'_You're one of us...'_

'_But is it good?'_

'_What is good? What is bad? You don't know; and no one does. And this doesn't mater – what matters – is your existing and you being one of us.'_

__

'Who am I?' I moaned into the silence, waiting for a response. Which didn't come, of course.

The situation seems quite funny to me now – but then it didn't. Standing there, without any clothes, with a strange feeling of peace and freedom, full to the top with some mixture of thoughts... it was... beautiful!

'_You are beautiful!'_

'_No! I'm a monster!'_

'_Look around, sweetie – so called humans are much more monstrous, than we are.'_

__

I looked around. My head hurt badly, I felt completely distort, everything seemed like a bad play. I didn't know who I was, but though was sure, that I'd learn it when the proper time comes. So I waited for that proper time in fear, disgust and pleasure, like Galatea, waiting for Pygmalion to come and breathe life into me. And so he came. Not alone.

_A beautiful woman with long dark hair, just like mine, with kind expression on perfect face. She was dressed in a black dress, with big décolleté, on whitening skin was uroborous tattoo, exactly like the one I had on my leg. Behind her there was a chibi man, also in black clothes, he looked at me with interest._

_The woman smiled:_

'_So here you are... how do you feel?'_

_I couldn't stop myself from doing so and replied in a crying voice:_

'_I envy you!'_

__

She smiled to me again – and that was smile number one hundred forty seven for our talk. The man was still silent, he looked bored and hungry.

'Aw, love, you really, really shouldn't be scared!'

And her words were so kind and so caring, that I made sever steps in her direction, without even wanting to.

'Come here...' she said in a tone of mother, and I did. I came and she hugged me. Man sighed and gave me a tight hug too, finally satisfied with the situation.

She laughed and murmured:

_Welcome to your family, sweetie..._

* * *

A/N: Just wanted to give first moments in life of Envy. I love that character. He's not my favorite one, but he's really amusing. 


End file.
